Navigating Friendships: The Art of Setting Boundaries

Sirel Rayburn
Jul 10
2 min read

Woman in a trench coat and backpack walks along a brick path in a sunlit autumn forest, near wooden steps. Tranquil and serene setting. Walking Alone.

Friendships shape so much of who we are. They’re where we feel seen, where we grow, and where we often go for safety in a storm. But sometimes, things shift. A friendship that once felt grounding starts to feel heavy. And we’re left with the quiet question: Is it still serving me?

This post is about what it means to face that question and answer it with love.

When It’s No Longer Safe to Stay the Same

Lily, a thoughtful teenage girl, found herself in a friendship that didn’t feel good anymore. She wasn’t being treated with the care she deserved, and she knew it.

“I can’t keep letting you in and having you do those hurtful things to me.”

She said it softly, but firmly. And that moment changed everything. Because that’s what boundaries are: a decision to choose yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Saying the Hard Thing Is Brave

Lily didn’t cut her friend off. She didn’t scream or shut down. She got honest.

“I want to be on good terms, but I don’t think we’ll ever be as close as we were.”

It wasn’t said in anger. It came from self-respect. And from knowing that closeness without care is not real connection.

This Conversation Happened on the Podcast

This story came from a raw and honest moment on the Surreal Life Podcast—part of our “We Listen and We Don’t Judge” segment. Our guest was Sirel’s daughter, a teen with the kind of insight many adults are still trying to find. Her reflections on boundaries, loss, and finding peace left all of us quiet for a minute. It was that real.

Listen to the full episode → Here

What Boundaries Really Are

Lily didn’t just speak up for herself in that moment. She created a new standard for how she wants to be treated—in friendships, in the future, and in her relationship with herself.

That’s what boundaries do. They don’t push people away. They invite better alignment.

If You’re Reading This and Feeling It…

You’re not alone. If you’re in a friendship that feels confusing, draining, or unbalanced, it’s okay to name it. It’s okay to want more. It’s okay to outgrow what no longer fits.

Boundaries aren’t mean. They’re honest. And they make space for something better.